Paid Work

People gave me money for this.

Creative Writing

People did not give me money for this.

The Latest and (Assumedly) Greatest

My Poetry, Suddenly More Than Art

All poets die poor. But that doesn’t mean you never see money (apparently). Red Bull hired me to pay tribute to Lindsey Vonn.

The Perfect Person Project

Nobody’s perfect. But you can be better than you were. So I’m having everyone I know teach me.


Why I Asked Everyone to Read My Dad’s Poetry When His Cancer Returned

Sickness came for my family and everyone else showed up to do their part for the battle.


75 Ideas I Submitted to Cards Against Humanity

This is pretty self-explanatory.


I Go Online for the First Time: An Extremely Brief Play (About Hard Truths From a Psychic Father)

This is not self-explanatory — not even a little bit.


Album Review: Weezer - Pacific Daydream

In a single act of catharsis, posing as a music review, I get out all my feelings about being a Weezer fan.

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34 is the New Infinity

Barreling into another existentially fiscal year, I took a moment to reflect on all the changes as of late. I’d never been set to have such a a big year.


5 Things I Learned Once I Got Proactive About My Mental Health and General Existence

My existence was so out of whack that I hucked half my wardrobe.


I’m Trying to Not Be an Out of Control Mess This Year—and It’s Working

I’ve stopped living drunk, sleepy, and spaced out, and started being the person I want to be.


101 Reasons Sandra Bullock is the Goddamn Best

This too is pretty self-explanatory.


There’s No Music on this Justin Timberlake Album

Did you know you can just make up anything about anyone?


The Colorful Ruins of the American West, Captured Like Postcards

Let a photographer set your eyes ablaze in the American West.


How to Install a Car Stereo and Become a Perfect Person

Anything is as much everything as it is nothing. How do you fill something without parameters?


Women of My Family, I Beg You: Let Me Die Alone

I finally break down, crack up, and fervently pen an open letter to the ladies of my ancestral shield.


Once: 100 Moments of a Dunce’s Life

In one heck of a memory exercise, I recount a century’s worth of instances life was fascinating.

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New England: A Story Told in Ten Fevers

Based on a true story, this was my writerly journey to grasp the ephemeral concept of “home”.


Craigslist Ad: The Piano That Can AND WILL Save Rock 'n Roll is Now for Sale

This is the saga of a man’s search to find a home (for his rock piano).


America's Space Age Has Never Looked More Eerie and Otherworldly

Behold the ruins of the Space Age.